I read an entry to another blog recently that chronicled the day of a stay at home mom, and the joys and perils of such. So I thought I would give it a try :) this was yesterday.
I am awakened at 7 am, (which is awesome! I got to sleep in!!) by my oldest (who is 4) and my earliest riser. I only had to wake up with the kids twice last night, so I'm sleeping pretty deeply. My son puts his face an inch from mine and says "MOM! I want breakfast! breakfast mom! I want the new cinnamon cereal you bought, with vanilla milk! can you come downstairs?! get up mama!" so I roll heavily out of bed, find my phone in the darkness, and sarcastically hope my sleeping husband enjoys the extra sleep he gets.
Downstairs, I zombie-walk through the kitchen and start the coffee while my oldest continues to yell at me for cereal. I manage to fill three bowls with cereal, go on a search through the kitchen drawers to find matching lids and valves for three sippy cups, and place them on the table just as my baby ( almost 2) yells down the stairs "I stink! mama! I stink!". I get the baby, bring her downstairs and wrestle her out of her jammies, which she peed through, and jujitsu-style restrain her long enough to clean her up and get some underwear on her. My middle child ( three) comes stomping down the stairs, grumpy and angry at the world, and demands cereal. I point out that there is already cereal on the table waiting for her, and she proceeds to have a mental breakdown and throw herself of the floor and scream about not wanting THAT cereal. My baby and oldest are at the table spitting pieces of cereal and each other, so I let her cry it out. She finally decides THAT cereal is better then going hungry, and I pour some coffee and enjoy some facebook time while they eat.
Hubby comes down the stairs bright and cheery from his extra 30 minutes of sleep, and I hope he spills his coffee in his lap. just kidding. I remind him that the oldest have dentist appointments and we need to get them out the door. I search the dressers, baskets of clothing needing to be put away, and dryer for acceptable outfits and try my best to coax them into getting dressed. I again, jujitsu- wrestle my baby into some clothing while she screams at me. I use threats and bribery to get the other two to get dressed. My oldest, as usual, feigns paralysis and I end up dressing him myself. Then its time for the shoe hunt!! oh joy!! I dig through the black hole that is our entry closet and manage to find shoes that match. My middle child cries about my choice of shoes, and about every other thing that has inconvenienced her that morning. my oldest puts on flip flops with his jeans, which I have to talk him out of, and my youngest takes her shoes off at least twice before we get out the door. At the van I coax the three into car seats, use more threats and bribery to get my oldest to buckle up, and were on our way!
I unknowingly scheduled another appointment at the same time, so hubby drops me off at the dentist with the older children, while he takes the baby to the other appointment. I get the older two checked in and try to keep them away from the mini-fridge the dentist office has so-lovingly stocked with capri-suns and bottles of water. I tell them that if they are good for the dentist, they can have one. My middle child cries yet again, and I explain her that I want to her teeth to be nice and clean for the dentist. Then I remember that I forgot to brush their teeth this morning. FAIL. My son thinks the water fountain is his personal water park and I tell him for the next five minutes to stay out of it. He continues to do it, so I put him on my lap for a time out. He thinks that is a terrible idea and backward head-butts me in the cheek bone and kicks me in shins. OUCH. The hygienist comes out and calls someone back that arrived AFTER us, and I hope she trips on something. kidding again. Then FINALLY its our turn. Hubby arrives just as I am taking my middle child back. about effing time. I then spend the next 10 minutes trying to convince her that the dentist isn't some kind of master of torture, and that she will be fine. The hygienist finally gives her a stuffed animal to hold and she allows her to clean her teeth. thank God. The rest of the visit is pretty uneventful, and I take the youngest ones out to the van to watch a movie while my son is getting his cleaning.
Hubby and I decide to take the kids to BK as a reward for allowing the hygienist to clean their teeth. whats better for clean teeth than fast food right?! don't judge me. they have a play-place. We get to the parking lot, park, unbuckle the kids, and my oldest informs me that he peed in his pants. which is something he hasn't done for a while. I sigh heavily and realize that we forgot the diaper bag at home. We cant go to BK today. hubby and I buckle three SCREAMING toddlers back into their seats and explain why we cant go inside and play. They scream the entire way home, and I use the drive to slip away into a mental vacation.
At home, I try to throw together some lunch because I forgot to take something out to thaw last night. We end up having fish sticks and fries. The kids take two bites and then run from the table, as usual. I take them all upstairs and put them down for a nap, and hope they take a long one. My youngest yells "I stink! mama I stink!" for the second time today. I roll my eyes because this is her newest (and annoying-est) stall tactic. She waits until we put her in bed, then she poops. I get her all cleaned up, and put her back in bed. I tend to my domestic goddess duties and sweep and do some laundry, make some phone calls since its quiet. Then its time for my hubby to get ready for work, and the kids wake up. I turn on some cartoons and give them a snack and hope I can get the dishwasher loaded before anything crazy happens.
I drop hubby off at work, because I need the car tonight. I take the kids home and allow them to play in the backyard while I do some more cleaning. I wonder if the neighbors will call CPS on me for letting them play in the fenced yard alone, even though I am staring at them through the window. But if I go out there, and leave my house is a mess, they will probably call CPS for that. I realize I hate having neighbors. I daze off into a daydream involving umbrella-topped drinks and the sounds of silence, and then I realize my oldest has let the baby out of the gate and she's making a bee-line for the running path. I run outside after them, think about my neighbors calling CPS again, and tell them they need to play inside for the rest of the day. They come inside and fight over toys, fight over crayons, fight over who's doing the fighting, and I finally give up and turn on some cartoons so I can make dinner before church. I end up giving them PBJ and a banana while I TRY to finish the laundry.
On the drive to church my middle child asks me in-depth questions usually beginning with WHY, and I do my best to answer. We all sing our ABC's and tell funny stories and I think that these are the moments that make motherhood the greatest gift ever. I drop them off at the church nursery, and try my best not to sprint to my class. Its a nice little break, and nice to have adult conversation. Its over all too soon. I go to pick the kids up, and I can hear the baby screaming from down the hall. Yikes. The teenage nursery gals also inform me that my oldest had yet another accident (whats going ON with him today??) and he is going commando at the moment. I sigh and thank them over and over for for watching them, and apologize for the trouble. Then think meh, its good birth control. I walk the kids out to the car, and being a human being and only having two hands, I hold onto the youngest ones. My oldest runs away from me, and into the parking lot. I yell after him and tell him that he has to stay next to me because there are bears in the woods by the church. hey, whatever works. I manage to get all of them into their seats again (6th time today) and hope the drive home puts them to sleep. I drive to the parking lot of my husbands work and wait impatiently for him to come out and meet us. The baby starts crying, shes incredibly tired bc its after 9 o'clock. I mutter under my breath that my hubby better hurry the heck up before I leave him there. After about 10 minutes, he finally gets to the car. cheery, as usual. God love him.
We get home, and put the overly-tired, cranky kids to bed. I get into bed myself, and hubby goes to the garage to do man things. I wait for a kid to cry. It only takes about 5 minutes this time. Its my son, he wants a drink. I get up, get him some water. He complains that he wants milk, and I explain that he cant have milk before bed. He cries. and by then, they're all awake and wanting a drink. I give them all a sip of water and put them BACK in bed. I crawl back into my own bed, and say a prayer that they sleep for at least an hour before I have to get up with them again.
